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memo to manager: I DON’T WANT TO GO TO THE ZOO!

Yes, I know you want to raise the morale of our little office “team”.

Yes, I know you think that “rewarding” us with a group outing will make us like each other more and want to work harder for you.

 Yes, I know “rewarding” your “team” is the cool thing to do and all managers seem to do it.

And yes, I know you think we are all third graders and will be excited about working harder so that we can earn our little field trip to the zoo.

But NO, I don’t want to go! 

Do we need an incentive to do our jobs? Apparantly you think we do. I see that you have spent several hours drawing a colorful racetrack and assigned us each an animal. If we all do our assigned “special projects” this month all our animals will cross the goal line and we will all be rewarded with a fun trip to the zoo!

The colorful racetrack, similar to what an elementary school teacher might make, will show us our progress and motivate us to reach that goal. I see that I have been assigned a monkey to represent me. Is that telling me something?  

I can’t believe we are really going to do this. We are all professionals and yet this is something that would be used to motivate small children. I don’t want to go to the zoo, go bowling, go on a ferry ride, or go to a picnic in the park. If you feel you have to reward us why don’t you reward us with cash? Cash is always a good prize. Or how about letting us go home early. I love going home early

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  • 1

    LMAO that is hilarious!

    That’s why I love working for myself and will never go back to working for someone else again.

    This blog is quickly becoming one of my must-reads. I even plan on writing a review about it on my blog in the near future. Keep up the great work.


    Make Money Online - Trent Brownrigg on November 27th, 2007
  • 2

    Haha! That is ridiculous!

    Mr. Disgruntled on November 27th, 2007
  • 3

    That is pretty bad!

    david on November 27th, 2007
  • 4

    WOW, I’m so glad I work for myself. At least when I’m treated like a child by the boss, I only have myself to blame. Hang in there, you’ll be nuking that job in no time!

    Jackie Lee on November 27th, 2007
  • 5

    Funny stuff…though a little over the top compared to the real world.
    I wonder though, why is it that school children can attend class everyday, all year, without having a sick day, yet adults call in sick right up to the point of being fired?

    BTW–if we give the employees cash incentives that are equivalent to the money that would be spent on the zoo trip, they call us cheap skates!

    good post in your niche either way, well done

    Allyn Paul on November 27th, 2007
  • 6

    This is NOT over the top at all. I have personally seen this with my own eyes…a trip to the zoo at a client’s office.

    Also, before I became self employed I got to go on a ferry ride AND go bowling as “rewards” for our team doing well. This is the absolute truth of what is happening in the good ole USA

    DayJobNuker on November 27th, 2007
  • 7

    My previous company had these:

    Trip to a little ‘museum’ that nobody goes to, a bowling session, a stroll through the public park.

    It doesn’t just happen in the USA. 😉

    And if you do not go, you will be marked.

    YC on November 28th, 2007
  • 8

    If you don’t go you are considered not a “team player” and will get marked on your yearly evaluation in most cases.

    DayJobNuker on November 28th, 2007
  • 9

    Yup, and whenever I left each place, they’d say I was a valued employee with much potential and great team player. I never knew whether to laugh or put on a straight face.

    YC on November 28th, 2007
  • 10

    Wow I can’t believe this actually happened in an office. I find it kind of degrading and completely useless. Maybe they should actually ASK their employees what they want as a reward instead of assuming that something like this will make them work harder. Geez!

    Open English on November 28th, 2007
  • 11

    Funny post… I love the fact that you are now a desk monkey!!

    Sam Kidd on November 28th, 2007
  • 12

    […] Enjoy free team excursions or bonding sessions to the zoo and bowling alleys. Unless you prove that you are making millions […]