To: All my Co-Workers
Subject: Your Lunches Stink!
From this date forward please refrain from bringing smelly lunches to work. Smelly lunches are an offense to all our senses and they should never be eaten in your cubicle.
If you absolutely have to bring a stinky lunch, it must immediately be placed in the refrigerator and you must eat it in the cafeteria/lunchroom on the lower floor. You are no longer allowed to eat any stinky food in your cubicle.
This is the new office policy that will remain in effect until the time I NUKE MY JOB! After I am long gone you can once again begin bringing your stinky lunches to work and annoying those around you.
PS. Any questions about what is stinky and not stinky will be decided by me, DayJobNuker