The video below is both funny and scary because it could really happen in our out of control goverment that is so determined to protect us from ourselves. Many people are able to make a nice living from poker but it looks like online poker jobs are a risky proposition. If you want to play poker as a job, you had better go to an Indian casino where the government says it is OK because they tax that revenue. As long as they get their taxes, gambling is fine with our fearless government leaders. State lotteries, for instance, are used to further drain the resourses of the poor who can’t afford to play while lining the coffers of our elected officials who crave power. That’s my take anyway.

If you are interested in playing online poker without any risk, you can always play at PurePlay where thousands compete every day for real cash prizes. It is also a good place to play to get used to the online game and they have $10,000.00 tournaments that you can get it for free! Playing poker at PurePlay is better than playing with free chips at FullTilt or PokerStars because the people are trying to win real money and at FT and PS the people are just messing around.

If you have read any of this blog before, you might know that I play poker from time to time. Poker has been one of my “income streams” for the last 20 years. I used to play online but now that it is a FELONY to play online in the People’s Republic of the Sate of Washington, I sometimes drive 30+ miles to play in the Muckleshoot Indian casino (which the Peoples Republic of Washington is just fine with because they get their taxes).

Up until last week, however, I have never been booted from a casino.  On this particular day I brought with me a small bag of peanuts, a banana, and a Boost health drink. I sometimes drink these “Boosts” as I love the chocolate flavor and they are good for a snack when I am away from home. I ate the peanuts and banana in the car on the way there and put the Boost in my pocket to drink later.

Let me say first that I sort of suspected but wasn’t sure that you were not supposed to bring your own food into the casino. How else are they going to make money in their restaurants if they allow outside food in? I wasn’t 100% sure though and I surely wasn’t going to ask.

About 2 hours in to my playing I was stuck around a $100.00 and thinking I should go home. Good things  were just not happening at the poker table that day. I then remembered I had the Boost in my pocket and carefully pulled it out. I thought to myself, “maybe if I get something in my stomach things will get better”.

Opening the plastic bottle I quickly (and stealthily) took a gulp and then a second gulp. I thought everything was alright when I heard a voice behind me say “what have you got there”? Turning around I saw perhaps the ugliest lady I have ever seen. Seriously. I am sorry and I know God didn’t give everyone the same tools to work with but this lady was just plain ugly and she even had funny hair! This is how our conversation went to the best of my recolection as the whole table stopped playing cards and watched:

Ugly lady employee: “What have you got there?’
DayJobNuker: Uhh, this” (as I showed her the small plastic bottle)

Ugly lady employee: “Well you are going to have to give it to me”
DayJobNuker: “What?”

Ugly lady employee: “You are not allowed to bring food into the casino”
DayJobNuker: “Oh, OK. I’ll just take it outside and drink it there”

Ugly lady employee: “You can’t do that, I have to take it”
DayJobNuker: “What do you mean I can’t do that? It’s mine and I’ll just take it outside and drink it there!”

Ugly lady employee: “I can’t let you do that. I have to confiscate it. There are cameras everywhere and I will lose my job”
DayJobNuker: “Are you kidding? What are you going to do? Are you going to arrest me?

Ugly lady employee: “No but I will have to call Security”
DayJobNuker: “Fine, call Security!”

Ugly lady employee: “I mean it, I will really call Security!”
DayJobNuker: “I mean it too! Call Security right now as I am not giving you my dinner! I am asking you to call Security!

Ugly lady employee: “Ok I will”

Now, halfway through that conversation I knew I was leaving and going home no matter what. There was no way I was going to turn back around to the table and say “OK, lets play some cards!” I was outta there but I was not going to give up my dinner.

She then turned around and went off to find Security. I quickly got a rack, stacked my chips, finished gulping down my dinner/drink, went to the cage where they gave me my money, and walked out. I was NOT going to hang around to see what Security looked like as I am sure Security could kick my you know what.

As I walked out of the poker room into the main casino she was walking back in alone and I handed her the empty bottle. Neither of us said a word. There was no Security in site so apparently my bottle of Boost wasn’t as big of an emergency as she thought it was. It’s a good thing I didn’t bring a container of corned beef and rice or security might have shown up.

I do want to nuke my dayjob and find some work from home jobs. I really do! I want to be able to make money in as many different ways as possible so I am not dependent on any one source of income.  But just because I dislike my job does it mean I have to get kicked out by a woman who obviously hates her job? 

Technorati Tags: casino poker, casino poker story, casino and security, poker security, Muckleshoot casino, Muckleshoot auburn, make money playing poker, live poker

Alas, the gravy train is over. The past 2 years have been nice to me but for now it is all over.The first blow was that I live in the state of Washington which made it a felony to play poker online. A felony with the same punishment as raping a child! Talk about ridiculous. Mind you it is quite alright to bet on the lottery or horse racing online or to go to one of the dozens of Indian casinos to gamble. That’s just fine our politicians say. But play poker in your own home on the Internet and you are a very, very bad person.

The second blow affected everyone in the US as the politicians in Washington DC (who are much smarter than everyone else) passed the UIGEA (Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act). This forced most online casinos to stop taking credit card payments and Neteller payments from people playing in the US. Although you could still find a couple of ways to get your money in, it was now much harder and most of the fish (bad players) left when their money ran out. What remained was the better players playing the better players and no new money being introduced into the game.

These two things happened within months of each other and I decided to give up the online game at least until the climate changes back to being more favorable. If you are interested in playing on free poker sites without any risk, you can always play at PurePlay where thousands compete every day for real cash prizes. It is also a good place to play to get used to the online game and they have $10,000.00 tournaments that you can get it for free! Playing at PurePlay is better than playing with free chips at FullTilt or PokerStars because the people are trying to win real money and at FT and PS the people are just messing around.

So, how did I win over $30,000.00 playing part time in about 2 years? It really was quite easy once I figured out how to do it. First I must say that I was not a beginner when I began playing online. I have spent way too much time at a real poker table in my life and I do know the ropes. But the online game was different than the live game and it took me a while to figure out the best strategy and then I started building confidence.

I made a lot of money at Bodog where they had a bottomless bonus!

No limit was also new. I had never played no-limit until the poker boom hit for no other reason that there weren’t any no-limit games. Suddenly though, everyone was playing no-limit and I thought I would give it a try as well. I did not win right away. It took me a while to figure out this very different game than limit Texas-Holdem.

In poker you need patience. Without it you will never win. I finally realized that in no-limit you need to try to make the nuts (the best possible hand) and hope the other player gives you most or all of his chips. I generally played only the best starting hands but I did try to limp in with a weaker hand if it was cheap. In no-limit, the bad player will eventually lose almost every time and all you had to have was tons of patience. However, that was not what made me the most money. It was playing for the bonuses. In that 2  years I did not play one hand of online poker that did not count toward a bonus. Never.

I had accounts at over 30 online poker rooms and went from clearing one bonus to the next bonus. I started playing one table and then when I got better went to 2, 3, 4, and sometimes 5 at the same time. I made the most playing 3 games of 50 cent/$1.00 no limit and at one time I had it calculated that I was making between $25.00 and $30.00 per hour. In my pajamas! Pretty effortlessly. The bonuses were easy enough to clear (because I only played the better ones) and when you threw in the fact that I won most of the time as well, that made me a consistent winner.

Now that it is over I do miss it somewhat. It was kind of like a gold rush with everyone scrambling to get as much as they could. Many of the Internet poker sites I played on are gone or don’t accept Americans now and I believe the bonuses for those who do play are not as big and easy to clear as they once were. It is kind of sad but I still do have hope. There are rumblings in Washington DC that the UIGEA may be reevaluated sometime in the near future. If it is made “legal” again in the US there may be another gold rush yet…at least a mini gold rush. And to those who are wondering, yes I did pay my taxes on the $30,000.00 (unlike many others).

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